Rex’s reviews of anything (but mostly books)

There are some names you just simply don’t associate with the Martha Stewart lifestyle – you know: frilly curtains, tons of throw pillows, crocheted tea cozies, and potpourri. One such name is Stephanie Plum; big-haired gum-crackin’ tight-jeans-wearin’ slightly slutty bounty hunter from Trenton. That’s in Joisey. Heck, Steph can’t even spell “potpourri”… So how is it all of a sudden that Stephanie is looking just a little bit on the domesticated side? And, horror of horrors, so is Lula!?  Small wonder that the street teams are all over the ‘net dumping on Janet Evanovich and her latest Plum novel, Fearless Fourteen.

It begins like any other Stephanie Plum adventure, though mis-adventure would, as usual, be more accurate. The intrepid duo of Steph and Lula head out to bring in one of several harmless bail skips to be rebonded. This time, it’s Loretta, distant cousin of Steph’s main squeeze (at least this installment) Morelli – not unusual, since most of Trenton’s “Burg” is distantly related to Morelli. When the single mom asks Steph to watch her adolescent son Mario, aka “Zook,” until she gets out of lockup, little does Steph know that a couple of hours of babysitting can expand into something much closer to motherhood than she and Rex the hamster have ever shared. Seems Loretta’s wild-eyed brother Dom just got out of prison after ten years for armed robbery – a robbery from which nine million dollars is still missing. Steph’s first clue that something weird (or weirder than usual, one supposes) is going on is the dead guy in Morelli’s basement.

Speaking of weird, it looks like retired ‘ho’ Lula will be redoing her two-sizes-too-small Spandex® wardrobe in white come June: she’s engaged to be married to Rangeman muscle Tank, though for some reason Tank doesn’t remember asking her… And Steph’s gotten herself mixed up with fading rock-star Brenda (one name, like Madonna or Cher), whose latest project is a reality show about female bounty hunters. If it’s strange and it’s going on in the Burg, you can bet Steph’s involved… or her Grandma Mazur is: in this case, Grandma (aka “Scorch,” ’cause she’s so hot) has gone Goth and become a potato gunner to protect Morelli’s house from treasure hunters.

It’s not all fun and games, octogenarian flashers, antisocial monkeys, and naked cowgirls notwithstanding. Someone’s sending Steph amputatued toes (complete with red toneail polish) in the mail and, with Zook’s mom missing, our heroine fears the worst. It’s full-speed ahead and damn the exploding dye packs as Steph, between unprecedented bouts of domesticity, must find the missing robbers – not to mention the missing nine million – to save the rest of Loretta’s toes. And maybe her head… Read the rest of this entry »

Just a few of months ago, life was good for Mike and Tia Baye: the doctor married to the lawyer, the fine home in the ‘burbs, the two healthy, well-adjusted kids. But that was months ago, and to modern teens months are what our years used to be. That’s why the Bayes find themselves in the uncomfortable position of spying on their sixteen-year-old son, Adam: a keylogger on his computer; GPS on his cell phone. Something definitely seems “off” with him – and it’s but a few days before this exercise in parental espionage bears fruit. Adam, they realize, is in even more trouble than his parents expected.

Eleven-year-old Jill, the Bayes’ daughter, must be the family saint: she’s sticking by her best friend Yasmin after a particularly devastating incident at school. And not everything is rosy in Dr. Baye’s practice, either – in the course of his work as a transplant surgeon he’s made a devastating discovery about another neighborhood family. One might think the Bayes family lives on Wisteria Lane – and not next door to Ward and June Cleaver, either.

Meanwhile on the other side of town… there’s a killer on the loose, a chameleon named Nash who takes a little too much pleasure in his work. We’re not even certain what he’s trying to accomplish: just that he’s very, very good at it; and very, very scary. Read the rest of this entry »